Poem on Saturday: An old forest fire

I have a midterm on thursday, but i’ll come over tomorrow

what are you doing

did you remember August?

They said you’ll never see him again, the voices

yeah fuck that,

i’ll see him tomorrow.

what are you doing

i’ll stop everything I’m doing, will

you let me tell you that you fucked it up?

that day we napped, kissed, tensions built up walls along my skin,

cement that cracked with skin and skin, and cement

and lips cracked too, open, my blood fell onto your eyes,

did they bleed too? or did you think I could trust —

coldly bruised, i knew that you’d hit me up 2, 3, 4, 8 months later.

with a couple of girls, yeah you remembered me most.

my blood stained your eyes, you felt my skin the other day,

Didn’t you?

you think it’s ok to leave things unresolved, tangled up, leave your necklaces wound up,

Leave your people and tell them tomorrow, or 8 months,

What’s the difference anyway.

what are you doing,

her tight ass, yeah you fucked her too, huh.

I saw you holding hands on Valentines Day, she’s your girlfriend?

i doubt it.

You can’t commit for shit, I know you mostly.

but i know that she’s hot, and you like heat,

reminds you of blood, my kisses on the windowsill,

when you yelled at me, “do you know how much it hurts, Brianna?”

yeah, i’ve been feeling it for months,

you didn’t ask though.

But you remembered, and you thought about it for a second,

math is the only thing you’ll ever love, i know that.

we know that.

I look at you and understand your brain, and i’m not mad,

but don’t fucking pretend,

don’t tell me you’re doing well,

You’re fucked up, will

you let me go?

doubt it.

 

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Weekly Tunes: BBB14

it’s ok to be angry.

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Weekly Tunes: BBB13

Mourning music for sad situations.

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How to do a flight to Paris the right way

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I’ve flown to Paris more times than I can even count, but this is the first time I’ve been here in a couple of years, and my experience has proven to be very different than it usually is.

On this trip, I decided that I wanted to test out some tricks to make my flight the best it could possibly be, while minimizing jet lag and getting some beauty sleep. Here’s my advice.

  1. Take an Edible 

Ok, so this was 100% my first time taking an edible before a long flight, and I do have to say that I was a bit weary, considering a lot can go wrong with edibles. All I can say is that it depends. First of all, I took an edible that I’m very very used to taking, so I know exactly how much I need to feel fantastic, and I know exactly how I’ll feel too, instead of being surprised and then having an anxiety attack on the plane. Secondly, although I took a sativa edible (which energizes), I actually had a really great time experiencing all of the new sounds and feelings that being in a plane can bring. Many first recommendation would be to take an indica edible if your goal is to fall asleep on the plane, however. But if you do want to have the trippiest plane experience ever, take a sativa edible.

Also, I opted to take the edible about an hour before takeoff, and it ended up hitting about two hours after that, which came to my surprise as I was watching a movie. It hit me like absolutely out of nowhere. But damn was it fun.

2. Come prepped with sleeping supplies 

Planes are cold and uncomfortable places (if you’re flying in economy, which I’m assuming most of us do!) To make your 11 hour flight much more enjoyable, bring a few things in your carry-on:

3. If you’re over 18 and flying to Europe, you can drink on the plane.

When the flight attendants were bringing drinks down the aisles, I noticed two things. Firstly, the flight attendants were French. Secondly, they were passing out champagne. Through various mental processes that lasted much longer than they should have, I reasoned that since the flight attendants were French, they probably wouldn’t I.D. me, since the drinking age in France is basically nonexistent. Also, I figured that if I asked confidently, everything would be fine. And it was. I had multiple glasses of champagne during my flight, and it definitely helped me sleep 😉

4. Bring Snacks!

I’m vegan. Plane food is awful. Vegan plane food is even worse. So I always bring snacks in the form of protein bars and sushi rolls! Usually I’ll just make a Tupperware full of rice rolls and bring them on the plane, and I’m a happy camper. And everyone else will be über jealous!

5. If you can, try to travel as light as possible and avoid checking any bags!

This may seem obvious, but it’s probably my best piece of advice in terms of traveling. The Charles De Gaulle airport in Paris has the worst baggage claim situation, and it’s honestly just best to skip it, or your wasting precious time you could be spending outside of the airport and in fucking Paris. But this stands for any airport in the world. Bring a little carry-on suitcase and a backpack, and you’re fine. You don’t need 3 pairs of shoes and an entire bottle of hairspray. You’ll live.

Happy travels!

With love, from Paris ❤

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Weekly Tunes: BBB12

With love, from Paris. ❤

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Paris, je t’adore.

Pictures of Paris I’ve taken thus far.

I’ve fallen absolutely and undeniably in love with this city.

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The Paris effect

IMG_1523.jpgI’ve been in Paris for 2 days already and I can’t imagine ever leaving. I’m contemplating even moving here after I graduate to just experience everything this city has to offer, and to just live. I’ve been really thinking about life and its purpose lately, and while I can’t seem to come up with a concrete answer to anything, I’ve found that perhaps the only solution is that there is no solution. Everyone’s wants are completely different, everyone finds joy in very different things, and it seems to me that no life is more successful than another if both lives were lived without regrets. And I feel that spirit here in Paris.

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As I was walking down rue Montorgueil last night with a new friend that I had just met at a tiny little bar, I couldn’t stop smiling. I asked this person if he felt the same way about the city as I did in that moment – filled with wonder and a sense of hope and joie de vivre. And having lived in Paris his entire life, he laughed a bit and told me that he wished that he could see the city through my eyes. But that he saw that the city had marvelous effects on people. And it does. It really reinforces my general outlook on life and helps me realize what I actually find important. My outlook is constantly changing with each new experience and it’s reshaped over and over again by both my own ambition and the suffocating societal standards I’ve been brainwashed to believe in my entire life. Being destined for greatness is a lot of pressure, and it’s a destiny that everyone around me, at least at Berkeley, is expected to fulfill. I’m alive. I’m human. I make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. While we’ve been told this from birth, we have also been expected to achieve incredible things at a disgustingly young age.
“Honey, everyone makes mistakes, but you can’t.”

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Paris brings me back to my own reality. I’m transported to a world full of possibilities, full of love, full of passion and wonder – and yet I’m expected to be able to transition back to Berkeley in a week. I’ll be coming back from one of the most liberating experiences of my life and dropped into a world where my self-worth is dictated by how well I’m able to analyze Socrates’ argument in The Apology. I’ve read it, so why am I supposed to break it down for someone who has also read it a million times? While the world in Berkeley is supposedly “the real world”, my world here feels much more real than it ever has in my entire life. I’ve had a taste of living life to its fullest, and it’s difficult to go back to the complete opposite and be expected to transition in a couple of days. I’ll mourn my potential existence in Paris whilst I spend hours upon hours studying for something I’m not even sure I want. But this huge part of me is so scared of throwing away everything I’ve worked so hard for. I’m scared not only of living a life deemed unacceptable and sub-par, but what particularly scares me is regret. What will I regret more? Choosing to live freely or being stuck in the chains of society’s demands? The answer seems simple, but it is much too complex for me to even try to delve into.

All I have is this one little life and all I know is that I must live to its full potential, because living a mediocre life is perhaps even more frightening than death.

merci, Paris.

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BBB takes Paris

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Get ready. Get set. Paris!!!

I’m flying to my absolute favorite city in the world this afternoon, and I’ll be sharing everything I experience- from my favorite lingerie shops to the beautiful art murals I come across as I stroll along the cobblestone streets. If you want me to write about anything in particular, or if you have questions about the city at all, feel free to email me at blendbus@gmail.com 🙂

I’ll see you all when I land!

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